🧠 Weekly Reflections #9: Communicating like your life depends on it (1/5).

Hey Everyone –

Welcome to the 9th edition of the weekly reflections newsletter! If you're observing Ramadan, Passover, or Easter, I wish you a blessed day and hope this edition adds more joy and beauty to it!

That being said, let’s get into it! 🫡

💎 Reflections from the Journal:

• So I recently picked up a copy of Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss - an FBI hostage negotiator -  who decided to distill his greatest takeaways, practices, and principles from 2 decades of service in one of the most unique communication environments in the world into this book.
• I thought I would share some of the key 💎s I found from the first two chapters and break down the rest of the book into a five-week series.

🤝 Key takeaways

• A good negotiator prepares, going in, to be ready for possible surprises; a great negotiator aims to use their skills to reveal the surprises they are certain to find.
• People who view negotiation as a battle of arguments become overwhelmed by the voices in their head.

↳ Negotiation is not an active battle. It’s a process of discovery that goes to uncover as much information as possible.

• The voice of a communicator plays a significant role in the result of the negotiation.

↳ There are types of frequencies Voss used the most during his tenure: The late night FM DJ Voice (selectively used - creates an aura of authority and trust), the positive/playful voice (most used! - unlocks and connects the person you're negotiating with, and create a relaxing environment), and the direct/assertive voice (least used - can create problems and pushback).

• Harness the power of mirroring: Repeat the last few words, or the critical one to three words of what someone just said.

↳ We fear what's different and are drawn to what's similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding.

↳ Use mirrors to encourage the other side to empathize and bond with you, keep people talking, buy your side time to regroup, and encourage your counterparts to reveal their strategy.

↳ In a study comparing a group of waiters using positive reinforcement (using words such as "great, no problem, and sure”) and another using mirroring, those who mirrored yielded a 70% higher average tip, with 70% more of those who used positive reinforcement 💸.

💭 More reflections from the journal:

• I lost my AirPods case in New York City and went through the whole week without using my AirPods. So, I basically did a $104 experiment (yep, that's how much the replacement cost): What would be the results from having no music, podcasts, or anything else in my ears for one week? Here are the takeaways:

↳ 🎧️ My AirPods were an anti-boredom machine! For the first time in my life, it was like I (inadvertently) chose to be bored, and I learned that if you're not bored enough, you don't unlock an untapped layer of creativity.

↳ 🧠 I got to experience a kind of mental awareness and clarity that allowed me to listen to my strongest thoughts. It reminds me of one of Craig Groeschel's quotes: "Our life is always moving in the direction of our strongest thoughts."

↳ 💞 I have found an increased awareness of the beauty of my surroundings. Building off my last point, that added mental clarity made me aware of so many beautiful things around me that I would have normally missed. I think that's my favorite part of this whole experience.

🎙️ Favorite podcast moment of the week:

• “The most spiritual activity you will ever engage in is to choose.” (28:10)
  

❤️ Quote of the week:

• "If I had an hour to solve a problem, I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.” - Albert Einstein

That's all I got for today. Love you guys, and see you next week!

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